#Unmanipulated Diaries

[theunmanipilateddiaries]

We had a dream last night where we got top surgery, and we were talking to all our trans friends about it, and for some reason bragging about it to our trans woman friend? Like, why? She literally wants the opposite, she wants the jigglies (or whatever Matthew called them). Was not expecting that, but now very sad to wake up and find out we didn't have top surgery. TwT

Front: Evan (xe/they), Michael (he/corpse/death)

[in-the-red-notebook]

Notes on Photography and Accident - Reflection

Three things in the reading struck me, or at least have me questioning my relationship with making an image. First, I thought about documentation through writing, thoughts, ideas, and note-taking. Barthes: "When a certain amount of time's gone by without any note-taking, without my having taken out my notebook, I notice a certain feeling of frustration and aridity… it's like a drug, a refuge, a security… Note-taking gives me a form of security." I found this strangely relatable; I always have had to dump all my thoughts and plans into something to get things out of my head onto a physical document to remember. I believe that how I approach photography is an introspection. Davey quotes Sontag and Barthes' "A photograph could also be described as a quotation, making a book of photographs like a book of quotations."… What each reveals, unequivocally, is the "that has been".' Perhaps photographs are visual documentation, a diary of reflections, questions, and ideas; sometimes, the words written in a notebook manifest into an image or vice versa. It's a documentation of the past brought to life.

On page 103, Davey discusses Sontag's thought on how unmanipulated photographs are inherently surreal, that technical skills kill the intrigue within the image. To some extent, the photos I have yet to think twice about and created without thought but through intuition are images I've been drawn towards. However, there must be some planning or preparation with these instinctual practices of creating an image. We know what we are looking for subconsciously well before the image is made or presented itself.

-Arno

[theunmanipilateddiaries]

I want a binder! I want a binder!

I wish binders were free, man. This sucks, I don't want the jigglies anymore.

- Max / Kenneth

Front: Matthew (void/he/star/eclipse), Evan (xe/they), Eclipse (they/them)

[theunmanipilateddiaries]

Our knee is killing us. So bad. It hurts so bad. But is that going to stop us from seeing our (fellow trans) brother from another mother? Most likely not. We want to give him the scarf we crocheted for him.

Who cares if that means we're going to be dead for days? Not us. 🕺🕺

On the other hand, we're not going to sign off posts with both our preferred names and whoever was in front when something was posted. Our preferred names are in our bio and in our intro post pinned to the top of our page. We're just going to write who was in front so then we as a system know who posted what. :)

Front: [REDACTED] (virus/he/glitch), Lemon (he/she/they/glitch)

[theunmanipilateddiaries]

Dysphoria is kicking our ass today, and we just woke up an hour ago.

Today's gonna be fun. /sarc

- Max / Kenneth

Front: Evan (xe/they)

[theunmanipilateddiaries]

We (most likely) get to see our (fellow trans) brother today! :D

We're excited lol—we made a bracelet for him at school a couple weeks ago with his favorite color, the trans flag, and his name, and we can't wait to see how he reacts!

So hopefully, we'll actually get to see him.

- Max / Kenneth

Front: Andie (he/she/web)

Side note, I've been in front a lot recently. I wonder why that is... I'm literally just a fictive, I have no other role. xD

[theunmanipilateddiaries]

We had one of our clubs today. It was really fun, though very dysphoric. We're not out to our clubmates yet because I'm the eldest, and we don't want to cause issues with the younger ones who may not understand yet. It was definitely awkward, though, like... that's not our name, but... okay... :,D

On the other hand, we'll be able to see one of our brothers this weekend! Hopefully, at least. (For privacy reasons, we'll just say that his parents and our parents are divorced.) We haven't seen him in almost a month, and he's really good at using our pronouns and names. And we made him a little gift, too, so we're excited to see how he'll react to it.

- Max / Kenneth

Front: Michael (he/corpse/death), Mimic (he/it)

[theunmanipilateddiaries]

Hi! Welcome to the Unmanipulated Diaries. We are Max or Kenneth (Kenny for short), otherwise known as the Eclipse Labyrinth Collective. We are a system that collectively identifies as a transmasc non-binary person.

Our parents are extremely transphobic. So much to the point that, when we first came out as genderfluid and later transgender to them about four years ago, we were forced back into the closet and manipulated into thinking that we were making it up and were just a girl. The Unmanipulated Diaries is our online diary recollecting our experiences of realizing we are transmasc non-binary and refusing to go back into the closet this time. Note, we are not out to our parents yet, we are simply out to friends who are aware of our situation and know not to use the correct names and pronouns around our parents.

Here, we will mostly talk about our experiences of being a transmasc non-binary  person living in a transphobic environment and how being disabled affects that. (We are both neurodevelopmentally and physically disabled, and as we are also an OSDD system, we have many alters that have various identities that causes struggles from time to time.)

There will be some posts on random things, but we'll try our best to keep it on "theme." If anyone ever has any questions about our experiences, disabilities, or just about anything else, send in an ask! We love receiving asks, they're a lot of fun for us.

Hope you have a great day!

- Max / Kenneth

Front: Michael (he/corpse/death), Andie (he/she/web)